All rights reserved copyright
Your name:

What Can You Give God


What can you give God when you have nothing to give? Ever been discouraged, no faith, no hope, just no words to even begin describing how you feel? You want to pray, but do not even know where to begin? What can you give God during that time?. You sit there in silence. God knows, that thought goes through your mind. Believe it or not, your silence is the beginning of a great conversation. Sitting there, meditating on the situation that has you bound, and trying to find the words to speak. But you need to realize silence is golden. It is words that God can hear. Why? Because in silence your heart speaks, your hurts come forward. That is all you have, and that is all you can give God. As you reach out with your heart, God draws near, next thing you know a word comes out of you, “help”. Then another, “God”. Slowly out of the silence, a phrase is formed. “God can you help me”. God does not require eloquent speech, nor do you need to speak with fancy words. He just wants you as you are to speak as you speak with a friend that knows you for years. A best friend who has been there for you time and time again. Give Him your silence, give Him small talks. Give Him you. He knows you and all about you. Be assured, He is acquainted with sorrow, rejection, pain, loneliness and death. Silence speaks louder than some words can ever say. Hannah, spoke in silence, God honored her by given her Samuel the prophet and other children. God knows what you are thinking, even if you are not saying it. We can sit there not open our mouth, but our minds always are full of thoughts. When you do not know what to say, or cannot find the faith, the words, or even believe that God is there, let your silence speak. Reach out with your pain, reach out with your tears, and reach out just by lifting your hand towards heaven. Come unto me, I shall give you rest.

Psalms 51

Psalms 51:6
Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.


A symbolic expression in the Old Testament represented by three Hebrew words:
chedher, "chamber," hence, inmost bowels or breast; tuchoth, "the reins"; qerebh, "midst," "middle," hence, heart. Once in the New Testament (esothen, "from within," Luke 11:39). The viscera (heart, liver, kidneys) were supposed by the ancients to be the seat of the mind, feelings, affections: the highest organs of the psyche, "the soul." The term includes the intellect ("wisdom in the inward parts," Job 38:36); the moral nature ("inward part is very wickedness," Psalms 5:9); the spiritual ("my law in their inward parts," Jeremiah 31:33). Its adverbial equivalent in Biblical use is "inwardly." INWARD MAN (which see) is identical in meaning.


1. situated within; being on the inside; internal
2. of or belonging to the inner nature of a person; mental or spiritual
3. directed toward the inside; ingoing: the inward pull of a centrifuge
1. intuitive; empathetic: an inward understanding of the poetic mind
2. subtle: a delicate inward lyricism
3. intimate (with): the play invites the audience to be inward with the character
4. introspective: an obsession with inward consciousness
5. withdrawn; reticent: a shy and inward person

During the times, that the house needs to be cleaned up, some people, rush so they can have more free time. That means, that when they sweep, they go around the couch, instead of lifting and sweeping underneath. Leaving dirt after dirt. In this psalm, David is stating that God, wants not only for us to be cleansed on the outside, but more important, our inner parts. Our hearts. The secret part that we do not show to others. The part that maybe we are ashamed of, insecure about, or feel it condemn us. With God, He does not want us to hide in darkness, but wants us to be truthful with ourselves. To be upfront about what is really going on behind closed doors. Hidden motives, agenda, feelings, thoughts. All. And come clean before in purity of heart and integrity. Honesty. What strong concept that is with Jesus. The ultimate reality that hits us right in the heart. We tell our family and friends the truth. But are we really honest with God in prayer? Or have we built walls that we do not let even God in? are we afraid of God? Fear of punishment? Fear of God not loving us? Nothing will separate us from the love of God. He knows our hearts. When you say “ God knows my heart” do you fully understand what you are really saying? You are stating that God knows all, deepest inward part, your secret sins, your un repented sin. Who you really are despite what you show people. There is no hiding with Him. That is why He desires your inward parts, parts that your own family does not know. But more than just appearance. He wants to dominate of your heart. To fully live in you without barriers, walls, shame, hurts, regrets, mistakes and certainly the past. What other truth does God intend in that verse? David just sinned, in psalm 51 and trying to ask God to clean the mess he made. He states “ God you want the inward part of me to be a just man”. The truth that God is looking for is a man full of Christian values. Honor, integrity, honesty, humility, peace, a compassionate man. A man after God’s own heart. A man of righteousness, holiness, who keeps God commandments. Not lifted up. It our day and time that we live in, that is almost impossible to uphold. But, if we are honest and give God our inward self. He can help us to do right, encourage others, love the body of Christ, that means even those whom you do not see eye to eye with.

All of the people that Jesus called and used when He walked on earth, were simple man. Not rocket scientist, not fancy, adequate, and certainly not rich or famous. Simple man who were not ashamed of who they were, seeking truth in a troubled time. Are we not in trouble times? As a child of God, don’t you seek and want truth in your life? Inward part, the heart. Wisdom, that is incredible gift that God said He freely gives. Hidden parts He shall make us know wisdom. When you come clean before Him, He will show you how to solve your inner battles, how to overcome. He will touch your mind, and show you his will, directions. Purpose. Wisdom is not only referring to being smart, but to discern between God your flesh and your enemy. And how to make the best decisions that will make you come out from the trial you’re in. how can we stand before our God in shame of what is in us, when he knows you more than you know yourself. Not use to hide it, not sense to be hidden away. Expose your heart, confess your truth self. He will not punish, or forsake you, but He want to wrap His arms around you and draw you closer to Him. Renew my spirit, clean me with hyssop, create a new heart. David found that place where he was able to let his guard down and come to God with his sinful heart. He was not thinking that God would reject Him, but David knew that God was not looking for material substitute like sacrifices, but truth in inward parts. Being open, honest, admitting, telling God your desires, showing him your imperfections. If there is one person you ought not to feel shame around that is Jesus.


The deepest part of the heart, where no one knows the depth it holds, lies the real person who dwells bodily. How deep does the heart and soul run? Do we ourselves know? Have we built walls that after time, we cannot tear down anymore? they have become a part of us. Even if we wanted we could not tear them down. Pain, hurts, let downs, what name do you have on your walls? But can we truly have peace, and live thinking nothing can penetrate our walls? can we truly love someone if we have barricades? The walls help us with protection, awareness, guidelines, makes us feel secure in our lives. But, how do we know to let them down when we truly want to give of ourselves? The saying says “my heart is on my sleeve”. I wonder is it in the open, is it free? Free for someone to know us, for us to give more than what we thought capable, or do we really want to? We say “if you need, I will be there, call” do we forget? To someone it might be the only thing worth hanging on to. Who knows what really is in our deepest part of our sub conscience. A part that does not get awareness much. Buried in a sleep until something awakens it from the dormant state of being left alone. Suppressed, and hidden without the wisdom to handle it. Most live on a plane that it is what we see, our emotions connected to what is going on at that time. Thoughts of the day, or past. Future is not seen but we can be moved by the uncertainty or doubts especially when disappointments have happened. Naturally we fear because we hope for the best but expect the worst. Is the bomb going to drop, will I survive it this time? The truth is, we can, we have survived and dealt with things we thought we would never go through. Each time we become more aware on how fragile life and we are. Yet we continue to push forward with determination that it happened, and now it is past, and I most go on, continue where I left off, eventually the heavy heart will lift, the sorrow will turn into joy, the tears will turn into laughter. The walls a come down, breathe easier, smile faster, light in our eyes, confidence in our voices. It is all about determination to be free, to live knowing when hard times come, it is ok. They will be dealt like every other situation before that. My heart is not on my sleeves, just look into my eyes, see my smile. Hear me say “thank you for being in my life”


Year of the Lord

I heard….

I am the Lord thy God. There is no one besides me. I am with you all the days of your life. Walk in my ways, I shall establish your goings. I have brought you to this point in your life for my purpose and for the work of my kingdom. Shortly, you will move in the spirit, see miracles, deliverances, provisions. You shall be blessed.

In my name, you shall lay hands on the sick they shall recover. Give hope to the hopeless. You will see my power and demonstration of my spirit explode in the next few days. Be prepared to full time ministry. Time has come for my ordained vessels to move in the fullest of my power. I have and will remove all hindrances, all obstacles, in order to walk freely in the spirit.

I shall give visions, dreams, you shall see open vision. Hear my voice when I call. The day has finally come for my people to walk in the power of God as it was so in the days of old. Be still and know that my promises are bestowed upon my bride. To walk in freedom and conviction. My kingdom is at hand. Time is short. Arise and lift your head high. I have called you, anointed you, equipped you with my spirit. No weapon formed against the church shall prosper. I have called my people to be victorious, full of faith and power. This is the time to claim, receive, for I heard the cry of my people and will deliver them all from their afflictions. I will provide all so they can walk freely and do my work in this lost world.

You are the head not the tail. You will no longer be the person of your past. I am giving you a new heart. I will establish you, favor you, use you greatly in these last days. Be ready for all I desire is upon my people. Humble yourself always before the Lord, I shall lift you up. Keep yourself right before the Lord your God. The windows of heaven are opened. Nothing shall stop my plans saith the Lord.

Be ready, for a change of life beyond what you thought or asked. My church shall raise from the ashes and operate on the top of the mountains. Give thanks always in supplications and prayers. Be ready to experience a new life and in power and compassion. Working in the gifts, lifting holy hands. My church which is called by my name, time has come to walk in victory. To walk in power, to walk in grace, to walk in the spirit, to proclaim the year of the Lord.


My Testimony

My Testimony I make no apologies if this is a bit lengthy, God has done so much, it is only right I give Him as much Glory I can. As a child I did not know much about God. The church I was born into, did not offer too much insights and teaching on Jesus. I was working early in my life in the church, although I was not fully aware of the spirit world, I knew that when I looked upon the faces of people, they were in sin. Often times, before I would fall asleep, a presence came near my bed, it did not make me afraid, instead, brought peace. I did not know who, but only the fact I welcome it. I moved over and motioned for Him to sit next to me. He did. Right before I drifted to sleep, I felt His hand upon my chest, or His hand upon my mouth, what peace I felt. It was not till later years I realized what was happening. I must mention something that took place in my life even before I could speak. When it was time for my mom to give birth, I was sideways in her belly, in order to come out, the doctor had to grab my shoulder and turn me, doing so I was born with a broken collar bone. But things did not end there. The wrong medications were given, and it took my life. I am officially declared dead for a little over a minute. God knew me and called me. He sent a loving doctor to look over me, and I was back to life and grew. With that being said, let’s move on to later years. It was time for my first bicycle. I was so excited. I loved it. But a month or so after that, I was riding with my friends and moving fast. We came to an opening in the street which was a major road. You might think you know what it is coming, but I can assure you, you do not. All my friends, turned right, but somehow I did not, I kept going. While I kept going, I did not look ahead, but at them and wondering where are they going?. While that was taking place, a semi truck came right at me. I heard the loud brakes and horn, and faces looking with fear. I froze; I stopped paddling and moving at a slow pace. All of the sudden, I felt this huge force that gave me a push and started to move quickly ahead. I can still remember that my body whipped back, how I held on, I have no idea. The bike missed the truck and hit a wall. I ended up with a broken wrist and a cut on my forehead. I can still remember the warm blood on my face from the cut and people surrounding me. Then I heard a familiar voice, my mom. All became ok. I wish I could say that was the only time I scared her, but it was not so. People said how lucky I was to be alive, but there is no such thing as luck. Only God and His plans for me. It was not time for me to die. That bike was never to be ridden again, but that was ok, you see I was about to depart from my birth place; Italy to the USA. I must mention that I lived in a small town. I was very outgoing, extrovert child. Lacking nothing. Afraid of nothing. I remember the day I arrived at JFK int. Nyc. 5pm Sunday July 24th, 77 at the age of ten. The faces I never saw, the streets I did not know. Quickly, school time. New friends, new language, new everything. The only things that were familiar to me were the clothes on my back and the food I ate. I did not know English, did not know anything. Soon, I realized that prejudice does not only have to do with skin, but who you are. Kids can be cruel. But worst, teachers as well. Since I did not know how to speak English, I was placed not in the class for special need. I guess at that time, that is how it was done. So I met people, that I had no clue had difficulties learning. Not handicapped, but slow learners. The word of God states, as a man thinks he is so he shall be. I learned to be like them. They were my friends, I did not know any better. But even there, cruelty found me. I was made fun of my clothing, the food I ate, the way I spoke. Thought me bad words and I would repeat them, not knowing I would get into trouble. Phone calls started to come at home, your son has problem adapting, and he causes trouble, difficult to teach and so forth. Not realizing anything I was doing, complete ignorance, in truth, complete innocents. My dad would get mad. My mom cry. I would explain the situations, they knew it was truth. But how do you deal with it? No one knew, my sister similar happenings. Slowly, went from outgoing child, not afraid, to this very, very quiet shy boy who now was afraid to speak. The icing on the cake came from a teacher, who thought I was a waste to be in her class. I had to grow up very fast, and I did, sadly though, the growing up, was not a good solid foundation. Did not attend church yet, not familiar with anything, trying to move on. So now, I did not want to go to school, I did not want to face those kids, I did not want to leave my home. It was the safest place for me to be. My dad started working two jobs to get things we needed, 16 hours days. He still moves around like kid now at the age of 80. My mom would cry a lot. No clue how to deal with situations that they were not prepared for. Then, the sky fell, we started to receive messages that family members died. One after another. My dad’s mom, my uncle which was the closest to us. Cousins, aunts, friends. What was happening??!!. God was not a big part of lives yet. But we believed to a certain level. While that was happening, the bullying still took place. The making fun, the cruel rejecting stage of life. My parents realized without a doubt, it was a mistake moving. But too late, they sold everything, gave up everything, there was no going back. I often wondered how my life would have been if I never moved. The answer is always the same, I will never know. I became an extreme introvert. My parents became very protective, fearful, scared. But we managed to go on, we had few laughs together, holidays were great, there was a closeness that made all ok. My sister and I lacked nothing. Of course it was not till later, that I knew in my heart, God was always there. You see, when God calls you, nothing will stop His plans for your life. They might be hard, not full of understanding. Even anger and anguish, but as time moves on, things are made known of why. Usually much later, where you reached a point in your life that you can handle knowing with a good attitude, and thankfulness. I wish I can say those bad days are over and all was fantastic, but as most of you know, life stops for no one. Despite the improvements, hardship still came. I was so timid, shyness had complete control. I hid my fears well, I tried to fit in, but my mind functioned at a different level of those kids my age. I started to look at the future, because my present was so horrible. So what did I turn to ? Hollywood. Yap, land of make believe. That was my weekends. Movies. I had obtained such a collection of movies, my imagination was full. Not of good things, but other people lives, that became my escape. Forgetting my life, and become so caught up in a fantasy that, all I thought of was being part of this creative magical world, that I could become anybody. Forgetting who I was, forgetting about real life, real people. I started to dream about becoming an actor. Me, Mr. Hollywood. Don’t laugh, I was a determined youngster. I took all the money I made from odds jobs, and spent it all on photos of me and trying to meet right people, and classes. But somehow, always hit a wall. The right door never opened. I knew that something about that lifestyle were not right. Still it was my escape. I had a few times where I was extra in movies, even did a coke commercial with Bill Cosby, wow look at him now. I came very close to get signed with a soap opera. Even though I was perfect, somehow they went with another. Never could catch a break. I was not stopped. I took more intense classes, met with others, got managers, so forth. Did all I can. When God says no, it is no. When He has destined you for His purpose, you can run, you can hide, you can travel the world, but eventually, you will find yourself on the same road in which you started, which is? Lord, here I am, what is your will? Surrender. Then horrible news came. My young cousin of 19 years, committed suicide. It hit me very hard. He hung himself on a tree. I was so caught up in my world, I had no emotional response. By then, everything was make believe for me. my word started to really sink. My cousin here, met a girl, and dated her; she was a church going person. That is where life hit hard but in a good way. She took me and my sister with her. We started to meet these people who were happy, outgoing, and loving God, I begun to get caught up in it. I still had the dream inside of me to follow acting. But things started to shape up, so I thought. My dad started to come, what a change in him, wow. My dad gave himself to reading of the word, praying, I saw incredible changes in him, unrecognizable, but yet welcoming. I knew something was starting to pull on my heart, but I did not fully commit. My mom did not give herself easily. She fought my dad every step of the way. Till this day she is still not where she needs to be, but closer and closer she becomes. She put my dad through some of the worst times, yet my dad was patient and did the best he could. The more he spoe about Jesus, the worst she become, anger and just plain cold. Her soul was the prize, my dad fought for her. She became hill and suffered much, the more she fought my dad, it seemed the more she grew weaker. Today, she is more opened, and more receptive still not where god wants her, but I trust she will be soon. Just when I thought life was going good, my dad decided to go visit family members that lived in florida. So we did. Boca, here were come. Took a great train ride, hit a cow, a car, what should have taken 14 hours, and took 21. We got there, during winter holidays, I could not believe how warm!! I was in the water the day after Christmas, with the most colorful salt water fish swimming around me!! How cool is that. This is where my life started to take shape, but not before I went down in flames. I met someone there who went to the present church I attend. It was 92 when I was invited to visit tampa. So I did, for 3 weeks. There is where I fully gave my heart to Jesus. Calvary Tabernacle. Incredible journey. I moved shortly after, in july 4th. Hit a wall so big, I completely lost myself. I realized that acting is not what I was intended to be. He had his own company, so I had a job. What I did not know, he was not the most honest of man. I had a few dollars with me, so I invested, and also lend him my credit card to by things we need it. Very gullible and naïve. Making the story short, he pawned all, sold all, left me broke. Although, many years later, he did give me some money, but nowhere near what he took. All forgiven, all is well. God begun to use me in the gifts of the spirit, I stared to edify the church by giving interpretations, prophesies, word of knowledge. Praying for people. It was very difficult for couple of years, no car, and part time work. I was able to get a bike and guess what? Yes, another incident. I was going on a main road, and this car was making a turn, but he looked on one way. He started to go, slowly, he hit the back of my tire, and I rolled unto the middle of the street. A street that is never without traffic. This time, it was, no cars, nowhere near me, and most of all, when I hit the ground, I did not feel the pavement, but it felt like I hit a pillow instead. No pain not even a scratch, nothing. All was good. Another great show of mercy and love from a loving God. For a couple of years, the only food I could afford was rumen noodles and hot dogs!! Stop laughing, good combination. I became good friends with someone who moved from Colorado. Became strong in the faith, was having incredible dreams, helping people. Once again, doom was at my door, was introduced to a woman, like I said doom (just kidding). She was not sincere in who she was, but I was so gullible, so shy, you could of thrown me a brick and would not see it coming. So we married, with her two kids. Sweetest two girls. One of them was raped at an early age of 6. I saw what was the most horrible thing that another human can do. But somehow this little girl, took to me, trusted me, and I was not going to fail her. She turned out to be such a lovely girl. I knew it was not right to marry her. I knew it, my dad, boldly told me, if you marry her, you will destroy your life. So I did, so it was so. Why did I marry her, knowing it was wrong? Wrong motives. I did for the girls. I felt they needed male figure and they took to me. my heart loved them. I believe in one man one woman sadly, no longer true for many in this world. Later on, found out the truth. Her first husband, did the same to her, she wanted to feel better, by doing to another, me. So she cheated, many times, but the real ordeal was this, to get me out of the house, so her lover could come in and take all, had to be a very good way out. So I get a phone call from her, stating she is at hospital, she fell, and needed me to come and get her. So I did, fortunately kids were not with me. I got there, police officer was there waiting for me to arrest me. I dropped to my knees and cried out, God why? The scary thing is the younger girl, a few days before, had a dream, she told me about it, it was a man coming and taking her away. I dismissed it as a bad dream. Never underestimate a child!! So I spent 3 days and 3 nights in the belly of the beast. In a cold cell. Fasting and seeking God. After it was time for court, all things were made known. All things, dropped and no record was made against me, all dismissed. I went home, or what was left, just to find dog dropping to cleanup, garbage everywhere, nothing left of anything resembling a home. I took bleach and cleaned showers, bathtubs kitchen, all I can think of, a man was here and what my wife and he did. I lost my identity, I could not understand why, the worst rejection anyone can feel. The pain was so deep; there are no words to describe it. There was no hope, no light at end of tunnel. My family could not help being far away, and also they never dealt with this, could not help. The agony, the days spent in darkness not turning on a light, forced to go to work with this incredible wound. The pain was like a broken mirror, so many pieces, no way of putting it together. God knew how. I did not. Panic attacks started, fear, anxiety, worry, stress, unbelief, I prayed heavily, fasted often. I rushed to the store to buy a picture to hang on the wall so it can feel like a home, get some sort of idea who I was. I went places where I used to go and walked around in pain, everywhere I looked there were memories, and there was no where I could run. My bank account was gone, I had to file bankruptcy. Even church was painful. God placed a friend in my life, which till this day is my best friend, over 18 years later. He became my roommate, and saw me cry in anguish everyday. No words spoken, but no words could be found. He helped me through the most difficult time in my life. To all reading this, I say this. God will meet you and show you the grace you need to get over any situations. Incredibly enough, out of nowhere, I started to meet people who were going through the situation I went through. I was able to minister to them and help them, despite of my own pain, I was able to offer strength, and comfort. I could hardly believe it myself. Here I was, lost all, in deepest pain, yet able to smile and love another and look right into their eyes, and say all will be fine! Only God can give that kind of strength, love, and compassion. I forgave all, and started to move on, but I took a back seat in church, was not active. Slowly was losing hope, I saw others make it, blessed with new spouses, but why not me. I was still used in the gifts, God was still there, but it was I who pushed God away, not Him. I was able to sell the house, move, new start, and new all. Then I got a phone call. My cousin of 34 years old, died. He hung himself. His wife, cheated, and left him. He had two daughters. I did not know how to act. I was numb. The very same thing, the very same pain, he could not handle it. Where was I. once again, the question rose, what if I never left? Could I have helped? Who would I be? Never will I know. Depression sunk in deeper. You see, suicide was also calling my name. I was not immune to it. The difference was, I had people praying for me, and a pastor who loved his sheep. I drifted even more. God never forgot about me never gave up. Then one day, I reached what I believed to be the max I could handle and in anger I pointed the finger at God, and yelled why don’t you kill me? I hate you. He did not. I believe He knew, that I did not really mean that in my heart, it was the pain talking. Not I. Slowly I made it back to church. I forgot to mention that while I was in jail, I was able to reach out and witness to a man, who later, was able to come to church and gave his life to Christ, but also his family. Sounds familiar? It should. Joseph, sold by his brethren into slavery in Egypt, falsely accused, placed into jail, and in one day, went from a slave, to be second in command in Egypt! I often read that story in genesis. I believe that in one day God can turn any lives around if it is His will. I believe it for you and I believe it for myself. The question is do you believe? I wish I can say all things went well every day after and I am living the dream, but not so, I had many struggles, many wrong choices. I became a slave of fear. Never fully allow myself to be happy, even not allowing God to break this wall I put up and heal me. In psalms 51: 6 it says, “You desire truth in the inward parts” we have to be truthful with ourselves if we are ever going to be the people that God wants us to be. That means come clean before Him. Admitting faults, forgiveness, confessing all things and deeds that are displeasing to Him. Knowing He is not waiting on us with a hammer, or whip, but open arms, full of love, full of compassion, and forgiveness. It is not hard to say sorry to a stranger who you bump at the grocery store with your cart, how much easier is it for you to ask God who made you? Who knows how many hairs are on top of your head? That knows all about you more than you do yourself or your family? Not hard at all. Try it. I recommend a book called “fear, get out of my life forever!” by Sandra Baker. It has helped me, it will help you. Am I still struggling,? Yes, do I still have work to do to get better? Yes. I am well on the way to live a full life of joy, peace, and most of all, living without fear controlling my every step. How? You must become desperate for a change and you must work at that change consistently. The enemy will not give up that easily. I am still fighting and still going forward. Deliverance will come. Joy will come, freedom will come. How bad do you want it? Do I still ask for help? Of course. But I am fully persuaded, that since I am the only one who has the choice to either change my life or stay in gloom, to achieve all I can be in Christ, or let the enemy push me down and put me down, placing negative thoughts in me, I am the only one that can stand up and say enough!!! Fear get out of my life forever!!! That is what I am doing. I want a life full of what God has indented for His children. I believe you can, I believe it is possible; I am living proof of God’s wonder working miracle. You know what the best part is? God wants that for you, but you have to believe, you have to have faith in Him. You have to believe that His word is truth!! You have to pray, have to believe that He is real and a rewarded of those who seek Him. I will soon have all my heart’s desires. He is a big God; your prayers should be as big as He is able to do. What does it mean? The impossible. There is much more to my life to share. Perhaps a book. I hope this has helped, motivated you to call on a loving God. You are not alone, there are many who are going through same things, even worst. It is hard to believe when you feel discouraged, I know, I have been there. I can tell you this, you can do it, through faith, praying confessing, forgiveness, you can live a life that you thought was never possible. With work, you can and God will meet you, help you, and equip you with what hopeless, all. Good days will come and also trials and bad days, but when they do, you have and advocate!! I encourage you to begin by repenting, get everything out of your heart, in your own words, in your way, I promise He will meet you and you will feel His loving arms embracing you. He is waiting daily for you, won’t you reach out? If you lost everything, what else have you got to lose? Your pride? Let God touch you; let Him show you how you can overcome!! God bless you!! You can do it!!!

The Cabin at the top of the Mountain
There are people waiting for you, who God has chosen

An outcast, isolated, no one around. Year after year no sign of any progress. You keep hoping, keep reaching, keep believing; the opposite happens. More is taken away, more is dropped on your shoulders, more heaviness of heart. Then you look around at all who are laughing, all that are living large. Once again. Why???!!! Oh God!!! Why?!!

You give all you have, you fight to touch the top, you try to envision a future of joy, despite of the knockdowns, despite the difficulties, despite who is for you, who is against you, who is in your life and who left. You lift your head towards heaven and push through one more time. Just to have another bomb drop and push you down even further into the abyss of discouragement and loneness.

You look around at some who seems to be on the peak of the mountain, always the life of the party, unbreakable smiles. You feel like a stranded dog. As you keep climbing the mountain, you stopped to see all the danger signs ahead, and you call upon God. You stopped at all the caves and placed your life on hold to hear the whispers in the wind in the cold and the darkness. While others celebrating the view of the top. But they did not climb the mountain, they were placed there. Because they did not climb, they did not see the danger signs, the caves, the waiting in stillness for God’s next move. So, they reached peak, with nowhere to go. No directions, no guiding, no visions, just self-ambitions, self-motives. Soon, they will look at the valley wishing they were there.

God saw me when I wanted to press a knife in the heart. Where there were no words just agony. Where anger was controlling talks with Him. Where people who you believed loved you left without blinking an eye. No one knew, family could not help. The caves got colder and darker. Went to the house of God, and felt nothing, nothing could touch you, nothing can move you, but God was there! That last drop of faith you had in you came out and whispered His name. He came near, His hand placed on your shoulder, His eyes fixed on his beloved. You hear…” I am here”. I have not left you, I am with you. Let’s go for a walk together. Let me show you what I have for you. No one will stop my plans for you. I have a work that only you can do. I have been with you from the start of the climb. I will be with you all the way to the top and further than your eyes can see.

You start feeling strength in your blood. Your eyes dry up and light shines in them. Your thought pattern changes, you grab of hold on anything positive, and words, every prayer, refusing to give in, give out, break forth from the person who circumstances made and a new creature that God created you to be. No longer the victim, but a victor. Fight to be a person of faith, character, strength, with no fear, but hope, with an open hand ready to help. Walking upright, shoulders squared. Confident that you are Child of God, and nothing is impossible with God. Being the head not the tail, above not below. Believing that who left your life, will be replaced by others who will be a constant anchor for you and you for them.

Then one day, you hear the words,” Look up…see the cabin by the large tree up in the mountain? You are one day away from that cabin. See the smoke from the fireplace? Can you feel the warmth of the fire? See lights in the rooms? Can you smell the food cooking?” All the sudden, you no longer give heed to the tiredness, the hunger, to the thirst for change, you can see the top of the mountain, you can see the cabin. God goes on to say “There are people in that cabin who have made the climb, who have been through things like you have, they are gathered together, and I told them to wait for one more person. You. They have been waiting for you, to meet you, to greet you to be with you, to encourage you. These group of people have gone through the valley of sorrows, they know how it feels. They will love you, and fellowship with you. You will become part of their lives and then others will join.” Who are they God?” “They are my pillars as you are. The pillars in my kingdom and for the chosen church. They are men and women who shed tears, who thought they were going crazy, nothing made sense, each had to climb on their own and one by one made it to this holy place. When you will walk into a place, people will know that you are not ordinary, humbled by humiliations, broken by the past. Survivors. Stripped of any confidence in the flesh, stripped of any pride, full of faith, full of determination to walk on fire with fire. Who came out of one cave after another. Faces with no names. Just pillars of the kingdom.”

All the sudden, all of those who took the short cuts to the top, will lose their grip with people. Will feel no longer important, their flesh will bleed, stepping in mud of confusion. They will flee, they will leave, they will believe their work is done time to move on. God what will happen?

“My son, my friend you were never intended to fit in, to be part of the crowd, to be accepted to be popular, but to be a stranger, to be outcast. Yet, in the company of angels. To have insights in the spirit. To stand alone and feel alone so you can feel my burden so you can achieve a testimony. To be the miracle. To see the moving of the spirit not the flesh. The church will go forth in power, walking in the spirit, signs and wonders always following, growth.”

“I held you tightly, I wiped your tears away, I embraced you in the cold, I was there when you chased me away, I heard your cries, I felt the fear in your heart, I saw the misery, I heard your cry for help. I was always there. I will never leave you. My child, accept the life I have for you. Surrender to the full life that I have designed for you. Open your heart and let my love conquer. Do not look at what and who you do not have, or who left and broke your heart during the years. Let me bring those things to you and more than you can ever imagine. I have open doors for you, I have blessings that you did not ask for. You are who I died for, turn to me, reach for me, seek me, most of all love me. All who left you, were never of me, they did not love you like I love you. Let me use you the way I want to so you can be a pillar a strength for others who will change the world. Let my healing take over. Let go of the rings, and the driving. Let me guide you, let me lead you, I will not fail you or disappoint you. You are a day away. Just one more day from not being who you were all this time. A transformation of spirit, mind and body. I cried with a loud voice Hallelujah. Then I cried with the heart and no words.

"Let me get you ready for what it is coming, I have chosen you in this last day, to make a difference in people’s lives. I will put my words in you and shall speak freely with power and grace and you will do valiantly.”

I believed God, I cannot wait to see these people. Just a few more steps, just one more day of climbing, I can see it, I can see the smoke, I can smell the food. I can feel the warmth of the fire on my face. I can’t wait for true love. I can’t wait to share stories in the house of the Lord. Most of all, I am ready to do a work for my God. For He sees fit to use me for His Glory. Something I have come to understand; what does He see in this outcast? His blood. His heart, His love, His creation, what does God sees in me? In one word; HIMSELF! Worthy is the Lamb.!! Praise God. Amen.

The Lamb

The high priest, when yearly sacrifice was to take place, the he would not just take the lamb and sacrifice it, but he had a responsibility and an accountability to God and Israel to examine that lamb thoroughly. Check underneath the wool for scars or geniality birth marks, or cracks in the hoofs. If found, He would give the lamb back and that lamb would LIVE due to the defects.
Christ, was examined by Pilot who took on temporally the office of the high priest, and the most powerful words in history took place, “ I find no fault”. Jesus took on the role of the lamb. But once Pilot, took him outside, to the courtyard and Jesus, faced the crowd, the same people who saw the miracles, ate the loafs and the fish, sat by his side, Jesus no longer was the lamb, but took on the office of the high priest, he found fault in the people, they were wanting death, cursing, rejection, even from his own disciple denial. Jesus, being the high priest , ” because you want me dead, you get to live. Because of your sins that you are committing right now in my presence, you get to live”.
The body, needs to stop feeling shame and guilt for their past, their failures, but thank God they did fail, thank God for the geniality cycle, thank God for the wrong decisions, thank God, not feel shame, or commendation, because they get to live…HE got to die. Because of the spot and blemish, they get to live. Because we get to live, we get to see redemption, revival, and eternity.
It may not be much of a revelation, but some people are in chains and hopelessness because of the guilt, it's too much to bear and in their minds, even too much for God to forgive. Remember, because of your get to live... and redemption was made so you can go on living...


An Incredible Thing

An incredible thing, at times, happens to my life such as today… I was listening to the word, and I am in Genesis. As I was hearing the story of Abraham when he took his son Isaac to be sacrificed. I was stomped at the saying, when Abraham saw the mountain far off and turned to the servants and said stay here, I shall come to you again. Then it is written: he placed the WOOD on his son and they went UP to sacrifice. I saw it played out in my mind, but the names were replaced, instead of Abraham and Isaac, the father placed the wood on his son and his son went up the hill to be sacrificed. I saw the cross being placed on his son. I knew that that was a type of shadow of Christ. The HG said, you missed it. It was not the sacrifice that is important. It is that the will of Abraham, was JOINED unto my will. Spirit to spirit. We were one. As it is written, I and my father are one. The will was one, joined. It is one thing to pray Lord not my will but yours be done. But when you are joined unto to me according to my will, in obedience, that is when mountains are moved. When my church, my people are joined as one to my will for them, then the dead can be raised, the blind can see the deaf to hear, the mute to speak. Only when my creation’s will be joined in spirit and soul unto me and under heaven, can I unleash the miracles that they are praying for. The spirit needs to cry out for my will. To be joined bone of my bone flesh to my flesh spirit to my spirit. The sacrifice of the cross was not only to redeem man kind and restore humanity unto myself. But that the redeemed do my will upon the earth , not by force, but by self-will/ self-sacrifice unto me. To be joined as it is in heaven shall be done on earth. To be joined in truth, in faith, not just words and not a half-hearted prayer let my will be done…. But in the heart you are hoping that God will do your will. To be joined as one who’s spirit already lives in the heavenly, but the soul is doing His will on earth.

God bless

Apostolic Worldwide Cascading Menus

Apostolic Worldwide